"In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future." Alex Haley
Christmas is traditionally a time for family. To paraphrase Tolstoy quite drastically, while all families are different and individual, in many ways all families are just the same. All families have their own little quirks and traditions, especially at Christmas. Whether it’s brandy rather than sherry for Santa, or not opening your presents until after Christmas lunch, no doubt your family has its own way of celebrating the big day.
It’s been a long year...
Christmas can be a difficult time for many people, especially if you’ve experienced big changes during the past year. It could have been a happy change, such as meeting a new partner and becoming part of a wider family. Alternatively, it could be that you have lost a loved one, or gone through a break-up. Perhaps you made the decision to move to another area - or even another country - and will be facing Christmas away from loved ones for the first time. All of these may need new traditions.
If you’ve become part of a blended family, you don’t want anyone feeling left out or ignored. If you’ve lost someone who formed a big part of your Christmas celebrations, some of those customs might bring back memories that are just too painful. Perhaps it’s your first Christmas as a single parent, and your kids will be with their other parent. For those who have moved away from family and friends, homesickness is normal, and Christmas can be a particularly difficult time.
In these, and many other cases, you might decide that, actually, it’s time for you to create your own, new, old-fashioned traditions. So, where do we start?
Ringing the changes
People can struggle with change, so setting new customs can feel difficult, especially if you have multiple people to please. Getting them to agree or accept change can be hard. It may take a little (or a lot!) of compromise to find a solution that everyone can live with. While you may have your own ideas, others will too. Riding roughshod over their wants and feelings will not lead to a harmonious festive season, and ill-feeling can easily spill over into the New Year and beyond.
OK, so how do we do this?
So, before you completely gut your Christmas Day and start over, there are a few things that you might need to think about:
- Who are you spending Christmas with? Celebrating the big day as a couple will be very different from sharing it with your extended family. As a couple you may opt for a lie-in followed by a smoked salmon and champagne breakfast. If you’re spending it with a lot of people, it’s unlikely to be so laid back.
- Are you staying at home, or will you be travelling to visit parents or other relatives? What time will people be arriving? If visiting others, when will you need to leave? You need to take this into account when planning out your day.
- What’s important to the different people you will be sharing at least part of the festive season with? What really says ‘Christmas’ to them? Is it going to a Christingle service on Christmas Eve, or playing board games after dinner? Just because you want to put your own stamp on the festivities doesn’t mean you have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. It’s ok to keep some existing customs, especially if they have a special meaning to some of those involved.
- What did you HATE about Christmas as a kid? Was TV banned? Did you have to wait until after dinner to open your presents, when you were desperate to just rip off the paper? Were you forced out of the house for a three hour tramp across the fields when you stuffed with turkey and sprouts? You get to ditch what you hate.
- What traditions have you heard of that appeal? Christmas Eve Boxes, which contain things like new pyjamas, hot chocolate, and a Christmas film have become popular. Perhaps you’d prefer to cook and eat your Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, just like in many Scandinavian and European countries, leaving you to relax on the actual day.
- If you have to repeat these traditions every year, will they start to drive you up the wall? This is really important if you have kids. They’re likely to want to follow the same format as the first Christmas day that they remember. Letting them watch The Snowman over Christmas breakfast might seem cute this year, but will it seem so great in five or ten years’ time (ok, I know someone who HATES The Snowman after years of being forced to watch it at school each Christmas)?
How we do it at Mrs Bee’s
As you can probably guess, December is pretty manic for us at Mrs Bee’s. Making sure that you’re delighted with your Mrs Bee’s Emporium gifts is always our main concern, and especially at Christmas. It’s only once the last parcel has been posted, and we’re sure that the sack of goodies is completely empty that we can relax. This is the most anticipated evening of December. Dom and I tend to open a lovely bottle of something fizzy, treat ourselves to a takeway and put our feet up.
The next couple of days are spent answering emails that, with great regret, we cannot fulfil someone’s last minute order as the last postage date has passed. I learned the hard way last year how important this is after I spent two hours designing a lovely bracelet for a lady, assuming that she wanted it in January. I was wrong. It was the 23rd December and I later discovered she wanted it for Christmas. And she lived in Texas.
(Note to self: this year put auto reply on…)
We usually order our Christmas food for delivery from Tesco. Our preferred day is the closest possible one to Christmas Day. The arrival of our Christmas dinner always feels like a special moment, when you know that you have everything in the house ready for the big day. We sometimes have a mooch around the Humber Bridge Farmer’s Market for last minute veggies and Christmas bargains (I always ‘twitch’ and buy a gift for someone, even though I am actually done. But I *like* giving gifts, so…).
The next couple of days are spent answering emails that, with great regret, we cannot fulfil someone’s last minute order as the last postage date has passed. I learned the hard way last year how important this is after I spent two hours designing a lovely bracelet for a lady, assuming that she wanted it in January. I was wrong. It was the 23rd December and I later discovered she wanted it for Christmas. And she lived in Texas.
(Note to self: this year put auto reply on…)
We usually order our Christmas food for delivery from Tesco. Our preferred day is the closest possible one to Christmas Day. The arrival of our Christmas dinner always feels like a special moment, when you know that you have everything in the house ready for the big day. We sometimes have a mooch around the Humber Bridge Farmer’s Market for last minute veggies and Christmas bargains (I always ‘twitch’ and buy a gift for someone, even though I am actually done. But I *like* giving gifts, so…).
On Christmas Eve we officially start chilling out. In the morning, we watch the CBeebies panto, usually followed up by a film in the afternoon, accompanied by a nice mug of something a little naughty, such as Baileys coffee. If we’re feeling energetic, we might walk to my parents, which the children always tend to enjoy. After tea, the children open their Christmas Eve box. Along with bath bombs, new PJs and a sachet of ‘magic’ hot chocolate, I try to get them a little craft activity or colouring set, to keep them busy for a little while.
When it’s time for bed, the children have a bath and put out their stockings as well as a treat for Santa (the drink Santa gets is subject to hot debate - one year he got milk, which did not impress the Big Man at all!). Along with our adult son, his girlfriend, and my brother, we sometimes play a board game (usually Cards Against Humanity) until it’s time to get the presents in and turn in ourselves.
Christmas morning is a bit of a present frenzy, after one important ritual – trying to find the elf and realising that he, and his magic door, have disappeared for another year.
When it’s time for bed, the children have a bath and put out their stockings as well as a treat for Santa (the drink Santa gets is subject to hot debate - one year he got milk, which did not impress the Big Man at all!). Along with our adult son, his girlfriend, and my brother, we sometimes play a board game (usually Cards Against Humanity) until it’s time to get the presents in and turn in ourselves.
Christmas morning is a bit of a present frenzy, after one important ritual – trying to find the elf and realising that he, and his magic door, have disappeared for another year.
The children are allowed to open one present each whilst one of the adults makes a cuppa. Then they take it in turns. They find this hard, but it’s good for them. They open their stockings (which are pillowcases here, and contain most of their gifts). Then we all have a break and some breakfast (usually pain au chocolat and whatever selection box chocolate we fancy, I won’t lie). Then we all open gifts from each other and other relatives – this is when the adults join in. We all take turns too.
Last year, Florence had an allergic reaction to her Christmas Eve bath bomb and her eye swelled up to twice it’s size. We spent a couple of hours in A&E. She was fine – it wasn’t the dreaded cellulitis that NHS Direct suspected. She was highly impressed with the fact that she was given two Christmas presents by the doctor – so I suspect she may well tell us she has an ‘injury’ of some sort that demands immediate medical attention again this year!
This will be the third Christmas since starting Mrs Bee’s Emporium and our theme is pure laziness. We try to do as little as possible as we’re super tired from work (there are a lot of all nighters pulled in December!) We cook a traditional dinner, Dom lights the Christmas pudding multiple times (it’s his favourite bit of Christmas) and we all slob around for as long as humanly possible, in between the children’s requests for batteries, undoing boxes and so on.
I love to have a craft project to focus on – this year I am making a fusion quilt (fabric patches sewn together and joined by crochet).
This will be the third Christmas since starting Mrs Bee’s Emporium and our theme is pure laziness. We try to do as little as possible as we’re super tired from work (there are a lot of all nighters pulled in December!) We cook a traditional dinner, Dom lights the Christmas pudding multiple times (it’s his favourite bit of Christmas) and we all slob around for as long as humanly possible, in between the children’s requests for batteries, undoing boxes and so on.
I love to have a craft project to focus on – this year I am making a fusion quilt (fabric patches sewn together and joined by crochet).
No comments:
Post a Comment