Celebrating in the new, old fashioned way

"In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future." Alex Haley

Join our Organising Christmas group on Facebook, for support, challenges, bargains and fun whilst you plan your Christmas 2017

Christmas is traditionally a time for family. To paraphrase Tolstoy quite drastically, while all families are different and individual, in many ways all families are just the same. All families have their own little quirks and traditions, especially at Christmas. Whether it’s brandy rather than sherry for Santa, or not opening your presents until after Christmas lunch, no doubt your family has its own way of celebrating the big day.

It’s been a long year...

Christmas can be a difficult time for many people, especially if you’ve experienced big changes during the past year. It could have been a happy change, such as meeting a new partner and becoming part of a wider family. Alternatively, it could be that you have lost a loved one, or gone through a break-up. Perhaps you made the decision to move to another area - or even another country - and will be facing Christmas away from loved ones for the first time. All of these may need new traditions.

If you’ve become part of a blended family, you don’t want anyone feeling left out or ignored. If you’ve lost someone who formed a big part of your Christmas celebrations, some of those customs might bring back memories that are just too painful. Perhaps it’s your first Christmas as a single parent, and your kids will be with their other parent. For those who have moved away from family and friends, homesickness is normal, and Christmas can be a particularly difficult time.

In these, and many other cases, you might decide that, actually, it’s time for you to create your own, new, old-fashioned traditions. So, where do we start?

Ringing the changes

People can struggle with change, so setting new customs can feel difficult, especially if you have multiple people to please. Getting them to agree or accept change can be hard. It may take a little (or a lot!) of compromise to find a solution that everyone can live with. While you may have your own ideas, others will too. Riding roughshod over their wants and feelings will not lead to a harmonious festive season, and ill-feeling can easily spill over into the New Year and beyond.

OK, so how do we do this?

So, before you completely gut your Christmas Day and start over, there are a few things that you might need to think about:

1. Who are you spending Christmas with? Celebrating the big day as a couple will be very different from sharing it with your extended family. As a couple you may opt for a lie-in followed by a smoked salmon and champagne breakfast. If you’re spending it with a lot of people, it’s unlikely to be so laid back.
2. Are you staying at home, or will you be travelling to visit parents or other relatives? What time will people be arriving? If visiting others, when will you need to leave? You need to take this into account when planning out your day.
3. What’s important to the different people you will be sharing at least part of the festive season with? What really says ‘Christmas’ to them? Is it going to a Christingle service on Christmas Eve, or playing board games after dinner? Just because you want to put your own stamp on the festivities doesn’t mean you have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. It’s ok to keep some existing customs, especially if they have a special meaning to some of those involved.
4. What did you HATE about Christmas as a kid? Was TV banned? Did you have to wait until after dinner to open your presents, when you were desperate to just rip off the paper? Were you forced out of the house for a three hour tramp across the fields when you stuffed with turkey and sprouts? You get to ditch what you hate.
5. What traditions have you heard of that appeal? Christmas Eve Boxes, which contain things like new pyjamas, hot chocolate, and a Christmas film have become popular. Perhaps you’d prefer to cook and eat your Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve, just like in many Scandinavian and European countries, leaving you to relax on the actual day.
6. If you have to repeat these traditions every year, will they start to drive you up the wall? This is really important if you have kids. They’re likely to want to follow the same format as the first Christmas day that they remember. Letting them watch The Snowman over Christmas breakfast might seem cute this year, but will it seem so great in five or ten years’ time (ok, I know someone who HATES The Snowman after years of being forced to watch it at school each Christmas)?

How we do it at Mrs Bee’s

As you can probably guess, December is pretty manic for us at Mrs Bee’s. Making sure that you’re delighted with your Mrs Bee’s Emporium gifts is always our main concern, and especially at Christmas. It’s only once the last parcel has been posted, and we’re sure that the sack of goodies is completely empty that we can relax. This is the most anticipated evening of December. Dom and I tend to open a lovely bottle of something fizzy, treat ourselves to a takeway and put our feet up.

The next couple of days are spent answering emails that, with great regret, we cannot fulfil someone’s last minute order as the last postage date has passed. I learned the hard way last year how important this is after I spent two hours designing a lovely bracelet for a lady, assuming that she wanted it in January. I was wrong. It was the 23rd December and I later discovered she wanted it for Christmas. And she lived in Texas.

(Note to self: this year put auto reply on…)

We usually order our Christmas food for delivery from Tesco. Our preferred day is the closest possible one to Christmas Day. The arrival of our Christmas dinner always feels like a special moment, when you know that you have everything in the house ready for the big day. We sometimes have a mooch around the Humber Bridge Farmer’s Market for last minute veggies and Christmas bargains (I always ‘twitch’ and buy a gift for someone, even though I am actually done. But I *like* giving gifts, so…).

On Christmas Eve we officially start chilling out. In the morning, we watch the CBeebies panto, usually followed up by a film in the afternoon, accompanied by a nice mug of something a little naughty, such as Baileys coffee. If we’re feeling energetic, we might walk to my parents, which the children always tend to enjoy. After tea, the children open their Christmas Eve box. Along with bath bombs, new PJs and a sachet of ‘magic’ hot chocolate, I try to get them a little craft activity or colouring set, to keep them busy for a little while.

When it’s time for bed, the children have a bath and put out their stockings as well as a treat for Santa (the drink Santa gets is subject to hot debate - one year he got milk, which did not impress the Big Man at all!). Along with our adult son, his girlfriend, and my brother, we sometimes play a board game (usually Cards Against Humanity) until it’s time to get the presents in and turn in ourselves.

Christmas morning is a bit of a present frenzy, after one important ritual – trying to find the elf and realising that he, and his magic door, have disappeared for another year.

The children are allowed to open one present each whilst one of the adults makes a cuppa. Then they take it in turns. They find this hard, but it’s good for them. They open their stockings (which are pillowcases here, and contain most of their gifts). Then we all have a break and some breakfast (usually pain au chocolat and whatever selection box chocolate we fancy, I won’t lie). Then we all open gifts from each other and other relatives – this is when the adults join in. We all take turns too.

Last year, Florence had an allergic reaction to her Christmas Eve bath bomb and her eye swelled up to twice it’s size. We spent a couple of hours in A&E. She was fine – it wasn’t the dreaded cellulitis that NHS Direct suspected. She was highly impressed with the fact that she was given two Christmas presents by the doctor – so I suspect she may well tell us she has an ‘injury’ of some sort that demands immediate medical attention again this year!

This will be the third Christmas since starting Mrs Bee’s Emporium and our theme is pure laziness. We try to do as little as possible as we’re super tired from work (there are a lot of all nighters pulled in December!) We cook a traditional dinner, Dom lights the Christmas pudding multiple times (it’s his favourite bit of Christmas) and we all slob around for as long as humanly possible, in between the children’s requests for batteries, undoing boxes and so on.

I love to have a craft project to focus on – this year I am making a fusion quilt (fabric patches sewn together and joined by crochet).

Are you Crafty? We’re Hiring!

@KrisAtomic

Temporary Christmas Staff

£8.45/hr* and 50% staff discount

Our company is four times bigger than it was in 2016 and, with the imminent launch of our own website and Amazon shop, we’re expecting Christmas 2017 to be very busy!

Mrs Bee’s Emporium Ltd is recruiting Temporary Christmas Staff to work from our studio in Saltaugh Road, Keyingham, HU12 9RT.

We are hoping to recruit some of Christmas Elves on a zero hours contract that can be called in to help make gifts when our orders get busy.

We will provide full (paid) training.

For the right candidates we will happily be flexible with regard to working hours, child care responsibilities and so on. There is the possibility that this may extend to more permanent work in the new year.

Our Christmas Craft ‘Elves’ will need:

•  A ‘can do’ attitude and the ability to roll up their sleeves and take on a variety of roles
• To be motivated and friendly, to work hard and work flexibly, sometimes at short notice
• To have excellent fine motor skills, ideally having a crafting or photography hobby. Sewing / embroidery is not essential but would be an advantage
• To have excellent customer service skills
• To have excellent IT skills (our business is entirely run online) knowledge of Photoshop is not essential but would be an advantage
• To be willing to undertake the mundane aspects of the job, such as packaging and shipping and making the tea (we all chip in!)
• Attention to detail & a ‘right first time’ mentality which encourages efficient ways of working
• An analytical approach and ability to use data to deliver customer / business benefits
•  The ability to strive to continually improve the customer journey
• A current DBA (CRB) check is not essential but would be an advantage

You will assist, on a part time basis, with the operation of an online shop. The role will be wide and varied and will include: dealing with customer enquiries (via email and phone), maintaining various social media accounts, picking and packing orders, photographing and uploading new products, etc. You will be trained to hand-make some of our gifts, including t shirts and vinyl products, digital printing and embroidery.

This is a very busy time of year, so it is essential that you can manage your own workload and work efficiently, sometimes under substantial pressure.

To apply, please email us your application form and a covering letter that explains why you would be the best person for this job. We’d especially like to see and hear about your craft or photography skills. Think creatively - please use photos and/or video if this will help. 
Hint – look at the person specification and explain how you meet what we’re looking for.

Please feel free to email hello@mrsbeesemporium.co.uk if you have any questions.
The person specification and application form can be downloaded from our blog, www.mrsbeesemporium.blogspot.com

·        * Pay is for over 21 year olds. We are a Living Wage Employer. Please contact us if you are under 21 for pay rates.

Deadline: 17.10.17, midnight.
Digital applications welcomed.

Job Description & Person Specification

Application Form

Shit just got real… Is it safe to mention… ...the ‘C’ word yet?

“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work, and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.” Anonymous

Autumn is officially here and, love it or hate it, that means that Christmas is coming. Unless you’re planning to spend the next three months in solitary confinement, there is no avoiding the build-up. Christmas cards are already on sale. The obligatory tubs of Heroes and Celebrations are in the supermarkets. Parents are already feverishly hunting down the elusive ‘must have’ toy of the year (have you seen how terrifying that doll is?!?). Furniture stores are advertising how you can order your new sofa now and have it in your home in time for Christmas.

Christmas Creep, as it’s known, annoys plenty of people. Hell, Selfridges and Harrods have had their Christmas shops open since July (surely that should be illegal)! Who wants to shop for decorations and mince pies in October? But, while it does seem ridiculous, perhaps there might be some benefits to it. Maybe.

You can’t convince me it’s a good thing...

I’m sure I can. 

You see, the thing is, while Christmas is supposed to be fun, we all know that it’s stressful. Traditionally, we started shopping in December. That gave us 24 days to get organised. Traditionally, it was enough. But times change. We are busier than ever, and have more to think about than ever.

Fitting in shopping, Christmas cards, family, food, travelling, decorating and everything else Christmas related on top of our normal, day-to-day life, can feel nigh on impossible. And who wants to spend the big day too frazzled and exhausted to enjoy it? Perhaps then it is a good thing then that we can start preparing a bit earlier, even if July does seem a little excessive.

So, taking a deep breath and overcoming our objections, what can we do to make the festive season less stressful?

Plan, plan, plan!

What’s that saying? ‘Fail to plan, plan to fail.’ Okay, that’s probably an exaggeration here, but planning will make your festive season so much easier. Not only will you feel less stressed and more in control, but the chances of you forgetting something important will be much reduced.

Where do I start?

Ok, there’s a lot, as I’m sure you know, so let’s break it down.

Firstly, join our Organising Christmas group over on Facebook. The aim is to provide encouragement and accountability (as well as links to all the bargains) so Christmas 2017 is your best yet.

●      The big one: where are you spending Christmas, and who with? Do you want the extended family around at yours? Or would you prefer it to be just you and your significant other? Are you staying at home, or going abroad? Perhaps you’re putting off making a decision because you know it’s going to upset someone. There’s another saying: ‘eat a frog for breakfast’. Not literally, obviously. If you haven’t come across the saying, it simply means getting the stuff we’re worried about done and dusted. In the long run, it’s much less stressful than fretting about it.

●      Budget: we all know what that Christmas debt hangover feels like. If you’ve promised yourself never again, work out what you can afford in advance - and stick to it! Most of us would struggle to pay for Christmas just out of December’s wages, so put aside a small amount each week or month. If money is tight, why not look at making gifts. If you’re not crafty, a hamper of some of their favourite foods is often a welcome - and personal - gift.

●      Gift lists: start planning - and making - your purchases as soon as possible. This will help spread the cost and, if you’re going to the shops, it’ll also cut down on queuing time, and prevent frazzled nerves. Once you’ve got them, wrap them. Wrapping can be a long process, so get it out of the way, plus it stops prying eyes spoiling their surprise. Just remember to clearly label them and don’t put them in such a ‘safe’ place that you don’t find them again until July!

●      Your home. We all want our home to look gorgeous for Christmas, especially if we have guests coming. Perhaps you’ve been thinking about decluttering, re-decorating, or creating a different look for your tree. Again, start early. No-one wants to be glossing the door frames at 10pm Christmas Eve.

●      Decide on your Christmas menu. If you shop online, get your delivery slot booked as soon as you can. While you can add a few items to your basket to begin with, to keep your allocated time open, make absolutely sure that you check everything out. You don’t want to open your door on Christmas Eve expecting your Christmas dinner only to find that all you’ve actually ordered is twelve bottles of champagne and a box of tampons (true story!).

●      Christmas cards. Make a list of everyone you need to send them to and dig out your address book. Writing cards can be tedious, so do a few a night. And, obvious as it sounds, make sure you put stamps on the envelopes before posting (again, a true story). Your friends and family will not be impressed at having to pay the postage!

If you’re wondering how to keep track of all of this, there are some great apps for your phone, and websites where you can find print-outs - I like to use Trello and Pinterest, as well as the trusty spreadsheet. I am a visual person, and being able to see each child's haul at a glance just makes my life easier. Of course, there is also the more traditional notebook or diary, which will do the job just as well. Whichever option you choose, let’s not put it off any longer. 

See you soon

Click here to join the Organising Christmas group - members get a permanent 10% discount from everyone on sale at Mrs Bee's Emporium! 

We're starting to list our Christmas lines over on the Etsy shop this week. Keep an eye open! In the meantime, everyone knows a unicorn fan, right? Here are 3 of our best selling unicorn items.

Best selling: Unicorn water bottle

Best Selling: personalised unicorn lunchbox

Great stocking fillers: unicorn boblets

Super cute 'you are awesome' embroidered unicorn

Want 20% off? Join our email newsletter: http://bit.ly/MBEnews

.

Welcome (once again) to Mrs Bee's Emporium!

Hello gang

I haven't been around for an age - I am a bad blogger. I will hang my head in shame. I shall endeavor to do better.

So, for those of you new to our blog, and to old friends, I thought I would provide some background with an interview we recently did for a craft magazine.

Catch you later

How Did You Get Into Your Business?

I think its fair to say it's taken me a while to find my niche in life. Creative subjects were never taken seriously by my school, or by my parents (I was always guided towards more academic subjects) so I never gave myself the luxury of choosing to study them. I loved English and found my creative expression in reading and creative writing. As I progressed through the system the career suggestions that seemed available to me were always the same: journalist, teacher, librarian.


I did work experience in a library and quickly realised that it wasn't for me. I worked for a local newspaper, then a local TV station as a junior researcher. I loved the work - it was frenetic and stimulating - but I was uncomfortable with how some of the individuals were treated once their time in the spotlight was over. After this I trained to teach English. There were aspects I loved - I am a people person and always enjoyed the interaction with students, parents and other teachers. I also loved creating beautiful learning materials. I found I had an aptitude for working with disruptive, less able students and bringing them on-board, usually by using crafts. 

I taught secondary school for 15 years, moving into Senior Management. I spent less and less time doing the creative stuff I enjoyed and my love for the job waned. Instead I indulged my creativity at home, baking, sewing, quilting, crocheting and knitting. I especially loved giving home-made gifts to family and friends.

In 2014 the school that Dom, my husband, and I worked at was taken over by an Academy chain. I realised very quickly that I would be unable to work in the new manner that was required and maintain my mental health, so I quit without anything to go to - the first time in my life I had taken this bold step. Six weeks later, my husband was made redundant. This was unexpected and a very frightening time - we had a son about to start university, a 10 year old boy and a 3 year old daughter - and now no family income at all.

We used the opportunity to take stock of our lives. We are both creative souls who had been guided towards academia, so hadn't really explored the gifts we'd been born with. Dom has always enjoyed working with his hands - making beautiful tables and wooden bowls in his spare time, and he's an expert DIYer. I'd had many private commissions for work over the years, which I had handmade in my spare time. We had always dreamed of having a smallholding and escaping the rat race together, which we achieved, in part, when we moved from London to a 200 year old cottage near the East Yorkshire coast.

We decided that it was time to take a huge leap of faith and believe that we could develop a way of life earning a living using our hands. We hoped that would provide a simple way of life that would allow us to work hard and bring up our children peacefully and quietly. We didn't - and don't - aspire to be millionaires. We want to work creatively and imaginatively, linking our hearts and our heads in honest hard work, living for the moment.

One thing that became evident right from the conception of Mrs Bee's Emporium (so named because our surname is Boynton, and we are beekeepers) was that we wanted to make a positive contribution to the world. Mrs Bee's Emporium came from a dark part of our lives, so we wanted the change to embody positivity; to be a ray of sunshine in an otherwise grey day. We were happy to work in our business and we want to pay that positivity forwards. We do that through innovative design, humour, top notch quality (we want you to love what you buy!), through outstanding customer service and through charitable work, such as our SATs Stars Project (we sent 200 stars and handwritten letters of encouragement out, free of charge, to 11 year olds who were anxious about sitting their school SATs tests.)

- What is your background?

In addition to the above, I trained to be a seamstress. I have taken courses in tailoring and bridal wear. I especially enjoy making items from my own patterns.

- What makes your process unique?

We try to make the act of giving as pleasurable as it is to receive a gift. We work closely with our customers to co-create a future family heirloom. We pride ourselves on top notch customer service, which I thinks makes us stand out from the competition. We want our customers to kinda feel part of the family.  It should be a pleasure to work with us. Our gifts can't be bought from anyone but us, so they are absolutely unique and, of course, we ensure they are of the highest quality. Our customers trust us to help them express their love for their nearest and dearest. It's such a blessing. We can't wait to start work each day!

Is My Body Too Bluetylicious for You, Babe? Spencer Tunick's Sea Of Hull #seaofhull

I've been putting off writing this blog for three days: how on earth can I sum up this weekend in mere words? It feels as though I have travelled 1,000 miles and more.

In case you're wondering what I'm on about - in Hull, our home town, internationally renowned artist Spencer Tunick created an art installation like no other. On Saturday 9th July, 3500 people descended to pose nude in the city, painted in shades of blue, to represent the sea.

Spencer Tunick directing the models

I am not the sort of person who poses nude.

I am 42.
I am several stones overweight.
I am recovering from serious illness and major surgery
I am saggy, wrinkly, cellulite-y; I have the stretch marks of three pregnancies.
My body is nothing like the bodies you see in the media. It is wrecked.
My body is a temple to carb living.
I have absolutely zero desire to be a nudist.
I am normally a bit shy.

So, you may well ask, why did you decide to take part in such an event? I'll tell you why. It's been a pretty terrible 18 months - not just for me but also for my husband Dominic and for my brother, Mark. In the last 18 months we have experienced the following:

Dom and I were both made redundant from our teaching jobs after an acutely stressful hostile takeover. Dom had a breakdown. I suffered with anxiety and depression. I coincidentally ended up with acute kidney failure as a result of undiagnosed chronic kidney failure, and lost the use of one of my kidneys permanently. The good one got scarred. I've blogged about it before, but this means I wore a catheter for 6 months and now have to self catheterise up to 8 times a day. In addition to this, after 9 months of a treatment with a chemo drug for another illness, I had a radical hysterectomy. Mark split from his wife and, eventually got divorced, having come to live with us for a couple of months whilst he got himself together. Our Dad was diagnosed with dementia, and our Mum had a knee replacement; they both needed care. Our eldest son started university and left home. Our youngest daughter started school. Mark sold his home and moved house twice. We'd applied for several jobs and had been rejected over and over. Funds were running low. We had started our own business. We had no idea what was coming next...

It was one Saturday near Easter when Mark, Dom and I were surveying the damage and wondering how the very hell we were going to get things moving in the right direction again. That was when we heard that Spencer Tunick was planning his installation in our home city. What a challenge that would be. We could do that, right?! It'd be scary as hell, but we were going to have to put ourselves out of our comfort zones and say yes to the world, right? Right?!

That rhetoric seemed pretty weak when the alarm went at 2am on Saturday 9th July and I surveyed what was ahead. Was Hull ready for this jelly? Jelly flood, in my case, more like. It was unlikely *anyone* was ready for this body - and I was steadfastly failing to channel my inner Beyoncé. Plus I was going to have to see my brother naked for the first time since circa 1982. Awkward. The post Brexit fortnight had been depressing and I was not feeling cheery. Would I be cold? I packed a onesie, a hoodie, a blanket and two flasks of hot tea and reluctantly got in the car, with a cold, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Had I shaved my legs? Would my pubic topiary be sufficient? What if I got stuck next to a smelly person? What was worse - feet or bums?

3am, before we undressed

At Queen's Gardens in central Hull  amongst 3500 other nervous nudes-to-be, I was surprised by how normal everyone seemed. There was a diverse mix of ages - from 18 through to 80+. There seemed an equal split between men and women, and no-one looked particularly pervy. 

When Spencer Tunick gave us the order to strip off at 4.20am, a palpable nervous intake of breath took hold like a Mexican wave. I decided the only approach that made sense was to think "stuff it" and be my bravest self. I stripped off quickly and applied the blue paint hurriedly - modestly covering boobs first (which I realised with horror might look like I was touching myself up in public rather over-eagerly. Why did I not know the correct etiquette for this sort of thing?!)

We were B1 - fully committed Smurf.

Now, I'll be honest, when I imagined seeing other people naked, I imagined it in a full frontal capacity only. The reality is far more 3D. The first view I had was of several men, from behind, bending down to rub blue paint on their feet. Hairy arses, dangly bits, back drapes.... I'm going to stop here. Weirdly I felt slightly amused, in a benevolent sort of way, and not horrified - it actually put me at ease. I felt rather warmly towards these people who were evidently so vulnerable in front of me - flappy bits and all. After all, I had more than enough wobbly bits of my own. But there were plenty wth bodies like mine, and I adored them all for it.

The crowd blue-d up from their legs upwards.  The paint was applied like sunscreen, it was cold and we applied it to ourselves. It went everywhere - belly buttons, hair, inside your ears, the soles of your feet, under your boobs, in your creases, up your bum crack etc. There were some awkward giggles when everyone realised that they'd need help from someone to reach their backs. This was done in an efficient and as British a manner as possible, with everyone steadfastly refusing to think of the places those hands had been moments earlier.  What happens in Queen's Gardens stays in Queen's Gardens.

The beautiful Queen's Gardens at dawn

Collectively, we marched from Queen's Gardens towards the fountain rose garden, thousands of us in shades of blue, jade and turquoise, like Greek statues; kind of not human. Like extras in a Doctor Who shoot. We were the same; we were one. We were all of us vulnerable. Tattoos were covered, hair was covered, jewellery was off, shoes were off. Not one person had a body like those you see all the bloody time in the media. There were lumps and bumps, dangly bits, cellulite, hair, no hair, scars. There were people in wheelchairs and people on crutches. Everyone was imperfect - and so wonderfully, so magically perfect at the same time. For the first time in my life, I realised that it wasn't me who didn't fit in, it was everyone who didn't fit in. It lit a glow inside me that is still burning. It changed me, and I can't quite explain how.

The nakedness only felt strange for a few minutes. After that, the nervous chatter took over, and we were all gossiping, cracking jokes, giggling and taking the mickey out of each other. The atmosphere was electric. It felt like we were about to do something monumental. Like we could do anything.

Queen's Gardens surrounding the fountain

There were drones! Nobody warned me about that. Drones filming us from the sky! As we marched into the fountain for the first shoot, I noticed AN ENTIRE OPEN TOPPED BUS of photographers! This was not something I had considered before. I was terrified! I prayed to every God that I could think of that I wouldn't meet someone I knew. (I didn't.) I prayed that I wouldn't be recognisable in any photos published in the media (I believe I am not. I have not looked too closely and intend to keep it that way. It was enough that I participated - I do not wish to look at my own soft folds.)

There was magic in the air though. In the simple act of undressing, several layers of meaning settled upon me and my tribe.

Before I tell you what it was, let me tell you what it was not. It was not sexual. There were no random erections. It was about as sexy as taking your Mum to meet your work colleagues. Yes, I know this goes against lots of people's expectations and even some people's hopes (some people who commented negatively on the Facebook threads and newspaper stories have obviously thought about this subject very, very hard. Excuse the pun.) Sorry to disappoint, but it was not sexy at all.

These are the things it was:

Firstly, it made everyone the same. It became blindingly obvious really bloody quickly that we all collude to make social conventions. Once everyone had their clothes off, and we'd all got used to that, then it was hard to think of a need to have clothes, really, aside from the weather. With the blue paint covering tattoos, hair colour and all distinguishing marks, we all became one. You know what really stood out? People's eyes. I'm pretty sure that most of us didn't look at one another genitals at all once the novelty had worn off. They were just not as interesting as people's eyes or people's smiles.

Secondly, we were all vulnerable. We had all taken a huge risk to be there, naked. We were all outside of our comfort zones.  It was a great leveller. It didn't matter if you were rich or poor - nobody knew anyway, because you didn't have clothes or jewellery to convey your social status. It didn't matter if you were male or female - we all talked together - possibly more comfortably than when we had our clothes on. It didn't matter if you were young or old - it didn't matter if you were big or small in any sense of the word. We were all perfectly imperfect.

We were 3200 strong. There were enough of us to feel invincible, like an army. We had all overcome barriers of some sort to even be there, and it felt like we could achieve anything. We worked together to achieve something bigger than ourselves. We were beyond ourselves, above ourselves; a force of nature. It was a feeling that it's hard to come back from.

Over 3000 strong; when people become shapes

Thirdly, it was brilliantly fun and ever so slightly irreverent. It helped hugely that Spencer Tunick and his sidekick, Steve, didn't seem to get our Yorkshire humour. The crowd gently pulled them down a peg or two in a very British way. Whenever a shot was taking a long time to set up, the crowd started mooing "STEEEEVE." I believe it was in reference to Spencer himself, on top of the BBC building, who, sounding rather stressed, screamed into the microphone "WHERE'S Steve?!?!" Neither Spencer nor Steve understood the bellows of "STEEEEEVE" that marked the rest of the day. We did, though. It pleased us. It pleased us more that they were perplexed by it.

Despite the gentle piss taking, we all remained very British throughout. During one set, once lined up, we were told to bend at the waist and touch our toes. Pretty much every single person in the crowd turned around and apologised to the person behind them for what they were about to experience...

Spencer was not as adept at moving people around as one might expect. For example, he could not remember the names of some of the key buildings. Frustrated, he shouted "GUYS! Look  <flap hands> over THERE!" The crowd then obliged by shouting "GUILD HALL!" in unison whenever Spencer failed to remember the name of a landmark. Similarly, when he screamed at some man "DUDE! YOU HAVE SHOES ON! Go to the back" the entire crowd did a pantomime "BOOOOOO!" We all had no shoes on, why should this schmuck cheat the system?!

STEEEEVE

My three favourite comedy moments were these:

1) When, in exasperation at having to move us cattle, Spencer Tunick shouted "if you can find a hole, fill it!" This was not the right thing to say to 3200 naked good Yorkshire folk. "WAY HEY!" came the good natured cheer.

2) Spencer was having problems getting us to fill the huge Alfred Gelder street evenly (for this amazing picture). Spencer didn't want the rows that we seemed to naturally form in. We had walked forwards and backwards, and twisted from the waist with our arms out on several occasions trying to get it right. Then, we had come too far forwards. Hundreds of people had to walk backwards, and we all did literally walk backwards, in silence, awaiting further instructions. One sound rang loudly and coincidentally around the street - the "vehicle reversing" sound from one chap's electric wheelchair. It seemed brilliantly apt.

3) Our fourth picture location was on the Scale Lane swing bridge. As an aside, the bridge surface was SO SHARP. It was actually incredibly painful to walk on. (I found being barefoot more disconcerting than being naked. One man I spoke to mourned the loss of his watch. A source close to Spencer told me that he often finds people have socks as their comfort blanket and hate to take them off. Funny how its the little things that bother you in the end.) We had quite a walk from the city centre to the scale lane bridge, along cobbled streets. The city had been shut off to pedestrians, and incredibly well swept, so we hadn't had any spectators. When we approached the Scale Lane bridge at dawn we came across a balcony full of young people, still drinking and partying. They were somewhat surprised to see a Blue Army invasion and were recording it on their smart phones. En masse, the blue nudes erupted into a chant of "OFF! OFF! OFF!" To give them credit, the gentlemen of the party happily whipped off their tee shirts and twirled them above their heads like cowboys.

Our view this morning of the #seaofhull 😂 pic.twitter.com/htsuc3MJwn

— Sam (@samwisecooke) July 9, 2016

There is so much more I could tell you about the hijinks and fun - and the sense of compassion and belonging that all of us various shades of blue bodies felt. It's not too grand to say that it gave us a sense of what a community could be if we all pulled together with honesty and humour. That, in itself, was life changing. So here are some photos of us once we were back together and feeling elated.  

Dom, Mark and I attended the second day of the shoot too - 200 people in a secret location on the banks of the Humber. This was a much more intimate experience (quite literally in this picture, when I had a pair of feet near my left cheek and an old man's willy on my right - like a caterpillar taking a rest on a leaf.) These were the images that were taken. I got sunburned and I was frozen by the rain and winds on Humberside. None of that mattered. 

During the second shoot, Spencer Tunick mentioned that he believed we were taking part in the shoot so we'd receive a second print of his work. Whilst its a nice touch that we each get an official print, my reasons for being involved in the Sea of Hull could not be further from the truth. I participated to challenge myself to something I felt was almost unthinkable. I knew it was a bucket list task as soon as I heard about the installation. I participated to experience being part of thousands of people who were also pushing themselves outside of their comfort zone. I did it to be a part of something bigger than me. I did it to belong. It was the nudes that wielded the power, during those early hours of Saturday 9th July. It felt like we could take on the world.

Whilst I don't think a future life of naturism is ahead of me,  I'll never again worry about wearing a sleeveless blouse, or beat myself up because I don't look like all the models I ever see. I am determined to keep doing the things that scare me. As soon as I shrink away from something, it will go on my bucket list.

I am stronger than I thought.
My soul will always be blue.

Another way to get a SATs Star!

I have been amazed at the interest in, and demand for, our SATs stars and letters (if you want to know what they are, click here.) I'm sad that they're needed, in all honesty, but I kind of see it as a protest. A positive protest. I like that idea; I hope it catches on. Positive action really, really makes a difference. Protesting against testing in education should be like a drop of water that keeps drip drip dripping on the government until it becomes so frustrating that they can ignore it no longer. I really, really want to be a part of that.

Dom and I are working hard, but we are 2 people with children of our own and only 24 hours in the day. Dom has machine sewn and cut out, and I have trimmed, cut through, turned out, stuffed and stitched shut 49 stars so far today. We have another 100 to tackle in front of the telly tonight. We are only going to produce a few hundred at most before the tests start. Since we shut our books last night I have received far, far too many messages from people whose children would benefit from a SATs star (we hope to open the books again later in the week, so keep checking back!) This has been a source of great sadness and frustration for us both.

Then a fab lady messaged me and made a suggestion. Could she make some of our SATs Stars for her child's class? 

This got me thinking.

I'll be honest, I was a bit worried at first, but I could see the potential. This project will have most power if we all work collectively so, rather than it just being lots of small clusters of people making stars, we all link up together in the same online place to show how many children have been helped with a SATs Star and how many parts of the country have been covered. Together we make a bigger impact. We can start to make people listen if we link together.

However, this means giving away a part of our business. Our logo, our artwork, our name. To people we have never met. Dom and I have invested all of our savings and countless hours of hard work developing our little business. Its a family business and our only source of income. So, without it, we're stuffed. The stakes are high.

Scary.

Then I thought, you know what? I believe in people. Good people are contacting me. Good things are happening. I need to put my money where my mouth is, in the true spirit of "pay it forward." So, I hope you'll understand, I have written a few guidelines that I'd like you to read and sign if you want to make your own SATs Stars for groups of children (you don't have to do this if you only want to make one for your child.) 

I'm dreaming, but: we could have school craft classes where children make SATs Stars for other children in their school. Parents and PTAs who make them for whole classes. Brownies and Guides and Cubs and Scouts who make them to support other children. Why not? It would totally rock, right?

So, I am going to publish my pattern on here in the form of a tutorial, absolutely in full, no copyright held back. I will publish it tomorrow, 5th May 2016. If you are only making one star, for your child, you don't need to read the next bit. Download your pattern tomorrow, read the instructions and off you go. Please comment and/or post on the FB group with a photo and let us know how you get on. Remember, together we have a bigger voice.

If you want to make a whole bunch of SATs Stars for lots of children, then please read on.

These guidelines may look a bit formal, but they are designed to ensure a few important things: quality, that the free "pay it forward" essence continues, data protection for parents whose children receive the stars, some protection of our business branding, transparency for anyone who encounters a SATs Star or the SATs Star project and safeguarding. I hope you agree that this is OK.

Please download a copy of the file "The SATs Stars Project Agreement" and sign it (digitally will do) then email it to the email address on the form.

SATs Stars Project Agreement (please sign and email us before starting)

We have also put together a handy cheat sheet for hand writing the notes of encouragement:

Letter Writing Cheat Sheet

And here is a sample of a note we have written. They don't need to be long. The just need to be positive and full of impact. This is not the platform for grumbling about the tests or the government (not that you'd do that, I am sure)

If you have any questions, please get in touch (my social media links are at the top right of this blog). I will be making stars, but I'll do my very best to get to you quickly.

Keep smiling

Claire