January 2019 - A New Hope

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

There is something about the way 2018 ended, that has left me with the feeling that a new era is starting for me. I am almost 45, so not ancient or that young really, but a nice round number that certainly denotes I am, at best, somewhere around the middle of my life. That the time left is a precious resource that is starting to run out.

I lost a much loved Aunty towards the end of 2018. I feel weird for saying 'much loved' because actually, I hadn't really been present in her life in a meaningful way for years, and now I regret that deeply. I did love her though. She symbolised something for me - a certain kind irreverence, a difference from my parents, love, colour, fun. I had always told myself the story that once my Dad (who has Parkinsons, dementia and an ASD) died, I would reconnect with this Aunty and she would help put the world back into full connectedness. But of course, I have learned the saddest way that that was just a story I told myself and therefore not real. I used it to shape my behaviour and I had made the entire Goddamn thing up.

That is a deep and uncomfortable truth.

I cannot go back and right the wrong, and tell her the role I had imagined she would play.

That got me to thinking. What else am I missing out on, because I have told myself a story about the way things are?
How else can I show up in the world?
Time is literally running out.
I don't want to live my life in a comfort zone, because I actually need to do stuff that makes a difference. Even if that involves hard emotional labour and vulnerability.
I don't want to get to the end of my life and realise I have bullshitted myself, or at least kept myself in a comfy emotional cocoon.
Even if it's uncomfortable, I want to do the best I can.

 At her funeral, the celebrant said my Aunty wanted to be remembered through the following sentence: that the love of power could be changed into the power of love.

WOW.
RIGHT IN THE FACE.
I still can't say that out loud without tears.

 You know what though? I missed my chance.

But - ...over the six months prior to her death, I became really close with her daughter - and closer too with my only brother. It kind of feels like we have a new sister. That's an incredible gift. It's love and laughter and connection and acceptance and every single day, even if it's just a silly meme or something that happened at work, or an eye roll - it's magic.

On the evening of the funeral, we went out for dinner with our cousin and our Uncle - our Aunty's husband of many, many years- and he somehow created space to acknowledge the sore spot - the things I did not do and the ways I could have been better over time - and he found a way to open a new pathway to the future, without hours of 'he said she said' that would really only have diminished us all. It was an incredible gift. I don't know if he realises the power of what he did.

Then, a few days later, it was Christmas.
We did nothing but relax and hang out as a family, and it was utterly, UTTERLY brilliant. We're renovating our house so have no kitchen. We'd planned to just eat cheese, to be honest, but a neighbour got up and cooked us Christmas dinner. She didn't just make extra - she got up and made specifically for us, and her work partner bought - Christmas dinner with all the trimmings - just for us. What an incredible gift! I want to post how that made me feel, but it's hard to put into words. Grateful seems too small. So does loved - it was a profound kindness and one I will never forget. It made me cry.

Dom and I talked at length about how we could say thank you. A bunch of flowers just doesn't cut that kind of kindness. In the end, we decided the best way we could express our thanks was to pay it forward - so all 4 of us spent time on Christmas Eve afternoon helping at a Hull soup kitchen. We handed out clothing donations, trying to match the item with the need of the homeless person. It was the most wonderful way to spend Christmas Eve, and we all want to do more of that in the future.

I've also been reading Seth Godin, and Brenee Brown, amongst others. I'm in a good place. Optimistic. Wanting to get on with things. I'm older, and I like the person I am becoming. I don't care nearly as much about what other people think. The future feels exciting. Yes, I will balls up every day in a million small ways - but also I really know that nothing is perfect, ever. That's no reason not to do it.

Let's see what we can write on the blank book that is 2019.

Much love,

SATs Stars 2018 - How To Get Your Hands on One

So, as we explained in this blog post we have just moved house and our home and studio is a building site:

This has had a significant impact on how we can operate our SATs Star Project this year. On the one hand, we want to support as many children as possible. On the other, we don't want to promise what we can't deliver and leave people disappointed, that would be awful.

After much head scratching some mentoring and lots of talking it over, we have bad news and good about how we plan to move forwards with the SATs Star Project in 2018:

The Bad News:

I will get this out of the way first. Unfortunately we are not in a position to sell any SATs plush stars in the way that we did in prior years. We do intend to do it again in 2019, and I know this will be disappointing to some whose children will miss out this year. However, we do not have the facility at this very moment to get these reliably made, and it would be unfair for us to promise it. It's very important to us that we keep our word. Rather than let people down at a stressful time, we decided it was better so say we would not make any plush stars this year.

The Good News:

We are offering two different solutions for those of you who wish to send love and luck to the children taking their SATs in 2018.

1) We are selling a boblet wristband, with a typed, personalised letter of good luck for each child. There are 6 designs to choose from:

You Are A Super Star

An Angel Feather For Good Luck Boblet

You're a Legend Mermaid Boblet

Playing To Win - Pac Man

You Are A Super Hero

You Are A Magical Unicorn

These cost £4 each, with free shipping, and can be bought from our Etsy Shop:
www.mrsbeesemporium.etsy.com 

OR our Amazon shop, for those of you who prefer Amazon:
www.bit.ly/MRSBEE

2) The other option is that you make your own SATs Star plush. We have written a tutorial, a pattern and guidance for writing a good letter of encouragement. This can be instantly downloaded from our Etsy shop. We are happy to provide online support, if you need it.

Download The SATs Star Pattern and Tutorial Here

(unfortunately we can sell the instant pattern via Amazon at this time)

The SATs Star Project is a not-for-profit project and we will donate 20% of all income from it to Young Minds, the children's mental health charity.

I hope you understand our decision this year, and we hope to be able to support as many young people as we can through this years SATs. We love writing the letters!

With love,

PS: Sign up to the email newsletter for 10% off! http://bit.ly/MBEnews  

Another way to get a SATs Star!

I have been amazed at the interest in, and demand for, our SATs stars and letters (if you want to know what they are, click here.) I'm sad that they're needed, in all honesty, but I kind of see it as a protest. A positive protest. I like that idea; I hope it catches on. Positive action really, really makes a difference. Protesting against testing in education should be like a drop of water that keeps drip drip dripping on the government until it becomes so frustrating that they can ignore it no longer. I really, really want to be a part of that.

Dom and I are working hard, but we are 2 people with children of our own and only 24 hours in the day. Dom has machine sewn and cut out, and I have trimmed, cut through, turned out, stuffed and stitched shut 49 stars so far today. We have another 100 to tackle in front of the telly tonight. We are only going to produce a few hundred at most before the tests start. Since we shut our books last night I have received far, far too many messages from people whose children would benefit from a SATs star (we hope to open the books again later in the week, so keep checking back!) This has been a source of great sadness and frustration for us both.

Then a fab lady messaged me and made a suggestion. Could she make some of our SATs Stars for her child's class? 

This got me thinking.

I'll be honest, I was a bit worried at first, but I could see the potential. This project will have most power if we all work collectively so, rather than it just being lots of small clusters of people making stars, we all link up together in the same online place to show how many children have been helped with a SATs Star and how many parts of the country have been covered. Together we make a bigger impact. We can start to make people listen if we link together.

However, this means giving away a part of our business. Our logo, our artwork, our name. To people we have never met. Dom and I have invested all of our savings and countless hours of hard work developing our little business. Its a family business and our only source of income. So, without it, we're stuffed. The stakes are high.

Scary.

Then I thought, you know what? I believe in people. Good people are contacting me. Good things are happening. I need to put my money where my mouth is, in the true spirit of "pay it forward." So, I hope you'll understand, I have written a few guidelines that I'd like you to read and sign if you want to make your own SATs Stars for groups of children (you don't have to do this if you only want to make one for your child.) 

I'm dreaming, but: we could have school craft classes where children make SATs Stars for other children in their school. Parents and PTAs who make them for whole classes. Brownies and Guides and Cubs and Scouts who make them to support other children. Why not? It would totally rock, right?

So, I am going to publish my pattern on here in the form of a tutorial, absolutely in full, no copyright held back. I will publish it tomorrow, 5th May 2016. If you are only making one star, for your child, you don't need to read the next bit. Download your pattern tomorrow, read the instructions and off you go. Please comment and/or post on the FB group with a photo and let us know how you get on. Remember, together we have a bigger voice.

If you want to make a whole bunch of SATs Stars for lots of children, then please read on.

These guidelines may look a bit formal, but they are designed to ensure a few important things: quality, that the free "pay it forward" essence continues, data protection for parents whose children receive the stars, some protection of our business branding, transparency for anyone who encounters a SATs Star or the SATs Star project and safeguarding. I hope you agree that this is OK.

Please download a copy of the file "The SATs Stars Project Agreement" and sign it (digitally will do) then email it to the email address on the form.

SATs Stars Project Agreement (please sign and email us before starting)

We have also put together a handy cheat sheet for hand writing the notes of encouragement:

Letter Writing Cheat Sheet

And here is a sample of a note we have written. They don't need to be long. The just need to be positive and full of impact. This is not the platform for grumbling about the tests or the government (not that you'd do that, I am sure)

If you have any questions, please get in touch (my social media links are at the top right of this blog). I will be making stars, but I'll do my very best to get to you quickly.

Keep smiling

Claire

SATs Stars - The Project

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, do you know how loved you are?

Due to huge demand, we have now closed the SATs Star List. We will send stars to everyone who joined before 6pm, 3/5/16. We will probably reopen the list again later in the week, but we didn't want to commit to more stars than we can make. We don't want to make promises we can't keep, especially as there are just 2 of us working on these, and we have children of our own. Please keep checking the Facebook page for updates - we will publish on there when the list re-opens.

Thank you so much for your interest, I wish we could help everyone; some of the stories we have been sent are heartbreaking. I will post a tutorial on this blog tomorrow, so you can have a go at making a star yourself.

Big love to worried parents, exhausted teachers and, most of all, our little stars.

Claire and Dom x

PS - nearly 3000 people have visited this blog in 24 hours. AMAZING.

Hello! I am Claire, from Mrs Bee's Emporium. I run my small giftware business with my husband, Dominic. We have recently left the teaching profession after a combined 30 years of service, because we do not agree with the current culture of constant testing and the stress it puts our children and our teachers under.

Our son, Charlie, is in year 6 and about to take his key stage 2 SATs. Charlie's 10 years old. He and his friends should be out playing and climbing trees, exploring, playing football and generally enjoying their childhoods and learning through play. Instead Charlie has cried every night this week, and had several nightmares, because he's overwhelmed by the expectations placed on him at school.

ENOUGH.

This isn't a criticism of Charlie's teacher, or his school, by the way. We know they are working as hard as they possibly can, like hamsters in wheels, and that they are probably more stressed than the children. Let me be very clear: the problem is with governmental policy.

We wanted to do something to help. We are speaking up and arguing against the tests at every opportunity. We have signed the petitions. However, we wanted to do something for the children who are facing these tests.

This is when we had the idea for the SATs Stars.

Last week, whilst sewing a commissioned piece of work, I made a cushion shaped like a star. I designed the pattern myself and, as always, made a test piece first. Charlie spotted it and quickly claimed it as his own. We noticed that is gave him comfort, because it's soft and tactile. That seemed incredibly important, especially this week. The symbol of the star also seemed appropriate. Our children will still be stars, regardless of what the test says about them.

How can I get one?

If your child is about to undergo SATs and you'd like a star for him or her, we will send one in the post free of charge, with a handwritten note of encouragement. That's it - all we ask is that you Paypal us enough money to cover postage, the Paypal fee and the envelope. You don't get many things for free, do you?

We just want to pay it forward.

If you'd like a star, please fill in the form at the bottom of this post. I will ask you to Paypal £1.25 to cover postage to the UK.

We will endeavour to get your stars made and posted First Class ASAP. Please be patient if demand is high - we will keep you informed.

How much do they cost?

SATs Stars are entirely free of charge. We just ask parents to cover the postage, which is £1.25 First Class in the UK. We will do our absolute best to make sure we get them to your child in time for SATs week.

All we request is that you like and share our Facebook page and we'd love it if you signed up to our email newsletter. HOWEVER, THERE IS NO REQUIREMENT TO DO THIS - we are sending out SATs stars without requiring anything in return except the postage.

Feel free to share this with your friends, your children's friends and everyone you know! We want to share the love.

With lots of love - especially to you parents, children and teachers who are involved in these ridiculous tests. Stay optimistic and keep smiling.

Fistbump to all you parents going through this too, and double fistbump for the teachers. It sucks.

Claire x

**** UPDATE, 2/5/16, MIDNIGHT. YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING. WE'VE HAD 50 SIGNUPS IN THE FIRST HOUR. THIS IS BEYOND OUR WILDEST EXPECTATIONS. AS YOU CAN SEE, WE ARE JUST 2 PEOPLE RUNNING A SMALL BUSINESS AND THE SATS START IN 7 DAYS. THEREFORE, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LIMIT THE STARS TO THE FIRST 200. WE WILL ASK EVERYONE WE KNOW TO HELP OUT, AND WE WILL RELEASE MORE STARS AS AND WHEN WE CAN MAKE THEM. I am going to add a section to our form called "letter." If you are past number 200, and you say yes to a letter, we will send a printed letter giving encouragement, and refund your money, except for the cost of a first class stamp. There is no obligation to accept this, just click "no" for a full refund.

I do hope you understand, and I am sorry for anyone we disappoint. We will do our level best to get to as many people as we can over the next 7 days.

Just, wow.

I'm going to send a copy of these comments to my MP and the government as well. They're breaking my heart. ****

UPDATE 2 - 3/5/16, 7.45am
I have literally hundreds of messages to get through! Please be patient, I will get to everyone.
If you're struggling to pay postage for more than one star, please Paypal any extra postage to claire.boynton@yahoo.co.uk. I will work on the form once the children are in school.

As I need to make the stars and write the notes, I will be responding to messages at 9am, lunchtime and 7pm. Please don't worry if you haven't heard from me, I will get back to you. I do need to limit when I deal with messages though, otherwise I won't get any stars made, packaged or shipped. Thank you for your understanding.

If you're having problems with an email newsletter popup, I will also disable this once the children are at school. But there should be a small button called "close" or "X" to the top right which you can click to make it go away.